The Heart of Love

From the Article " How to Cross the Heartbreak Bridge" on the Deccan Chronicle, Feb 14th 2013

“But I love him”, she said as tears trickled down. It took a lot of tapping at an acupressure point near her collar bone to subside the sobs. Often people visit me to speak about love or rather love lost. On this day as we celebrate love it also good to check our understanding of this often misunderstood, misquoted term.

Buddhist texts have a simplified way of understanding love. Love comprises of Metta or loving kindness or friendship, Karuna or compassion, Mudita or joy and the elusive hard to cultivate equanimity Upekka.  Using this yardstick it is good to introspect once practical boundaries of self respect are in place.

• Are you being a good friend? (Especially when your happiness and gains are at stake)
• Does your heart quiver at your beloved suffering? (What if their suffering is owing to an overdose of you, trust me that happens!). 
• Does your soul feel joyful when your beloved is happy and is there peace in your mind, composure in your word and deed?

And then maybe a realization may occur that it is not love after all. It doesn’t matter if the answers skew you away from the realm of love. What is needed is the knowing that right now, in this moment this is the best you could have been. Healing and evolution begins with the acceptance of the current state of affairs. From here begins the journey to love more deeply and to heal past hurts.

Whether it’s a broken heart,a heart ache or maybe the need to explore higher dimensions of love; healing the heart may be the most meaningful journey you may embark on.  Within traditional knowledge-base there are many paths that involve various senses and methods. In Indic philosophy the energy of love is known to reside in the heart center Anahata. Anatomically this is the cardiac plexus.  Anahata responds well to postures that opens up the chest. Back bends with an emphasis on the upper body such as Camel pose (Ustrasan), Matsyasan (Fish) pose are ideal. 

If you are a visual person you may wish to imagine brilliant emerald green color above the center of the chest and the light healing the heart. The seed mantra for the anahata is “YUM” chanting that mentally also help release blocks in the heart. If you are attracted to scents; rose essential oil is known to energize the heart.  Affirmations on love, compassion, forgiveness aids the healing. The practices followed mindfully would ensure that you feel lighter, refreshed, at ease with our emotions and ready to discover and embrace deeper meanings of love.

Wishing you a Happy Valentines day, may there be none left to forgive, may there be many who draw from your loving compassion and joy ; may you lead a life of radiant composure.

Defy and Defend With Dignity

Based on "Know your limitation, work on it", Deccan Chronicle, Kochi Sunday 30th December 2012

Rape is a global phenomena.  It has been there in the past and sadly it will happen again. What we need to remember is that it could happen to any woman, girl, child or infant. What we need is to show no tolerance towards any act of disrespect in deed or ideology. The Delhi Gang Rape is a tipping point for many of us to get out there and make the change.


What is the change that we need?The physiology of rape is testosterone, the psychology of it is power and subjugation. Countries that have had some success in resolving controlling the issue or are women friendly follow a route of education, empowerment and strict enforcement of law. Interestingly countries that cover up women and keep them indoors are the unsafest places on earth for women.

Empowerment of youth is what I feel is needed in Kerala. I have seen smart and “trained to defend” young girls in Kerala go into an absolute state of shock the moment a man misbehaves.  The other extreme is an emotionally charged response.  Neither helps. Both fuel further such incidents.

What is needed is conscious and apt response to the situation. Foremost I suggest  learn to run, to sprint. When in dire circumstances your legs will turn to jelly. Train them well. Energy needs to flow through them, do not let it stagnate owing to fear. Vinyasa style yoga helps achieve the stamina and control. As a woman I am soft and  I accept I am not as strong as any man. Once you know your limitation, work on it, defy it and then you are ready to stand your ground. 

Standing your ground is an attitude that you will not take criminal nonsense. It also means maturity to take complete responsibility of the consequences of your actions. Meditating  on the qualities of a Goddess archetypes has  helped many to gain this inner strength.

From that state of self respect, calmness  and clarity you can proceed to scan your  surroundings to create a weapon from what is available a rock, a pen, or a stick. If you like to be prepared think of investing in a pepper spray or have a tiny aerosol with strong red chilly powder-vinegar solution. Fourth is to use your weapon unflinchingly to have maximum impact. The efficacy of the weapon is purely in the hands of the user. However no woman likes to inflict pain. But to deal with men who are inhuman it is needed to move away from our inherent sweetness and find that resilience to grab the offending crotch and pulp it.

I have great faith in the youth of my nation and state. I believe ten girls who can react calmly and effectively will make a difference in a city. I hope to train girls to develop this attitude of respect using yoga, meditation and simple martial arts techniques for free. However this approach is partial unless the boys are part of this change. What is needed alongside is to sensitize men that the “fairer weaker sex” is a human who deserves a life of smiles, love and light. 

PS: .In the article that got published in the newspaper my line on grabbing the crotch and pulping it got edited out. Possibly that is whole point I am trying to make when it comes to defying, defending and doing so with dignity. There is no space for being politically correct and socially tactful – the operative word is “unflinchingly”. We need to be able unflinchingly visualise and execute what is needed effectively, efficiently in the calmest possible way. Crotch and eyeballs, I find are the easiest- to- access  weakspots and the element of surprise acts as a good advantage. 

Get Up and Walk! NOW

If your life is dictated by a dream and it feels like you are miles away from it...you may need one of the below to keep you on your path.

And god forbid, if you dont have a dream then maybe one of the below may inspire you to have a dream

IF.... by rudyard kipling

thanking all those who contributed to this post... I will keep updating the videos.

When you been hit  below the belt and you are struggling to get up...

 

Even if the odds are against you, you will find a way  ....



dont ever ever let anyone tell you your dreams are not worth it  

especially when the stakes are against you... winning is a habit

If you dont know what you stand for you will fall for anything

Will Smith AGAIN!



The Dragon

Service, simplicity ...  on this tiny spec in the universe we cant do BIG things, just small things with BIG love



mmm the first name I had thought for this blog was square pegs and round holes :)





When you have faced your demons you can write magical tomes... darn many demons yet to be slayed. SOMEDAY



i think if chaplin was alive now, he may be speaking of brands and corporates  "who tell you what to think, what to do, what to feel, ...u r not just consumers, u r men, you have love of humanity in your hearts ;) you have the power to create, to make this life beautiful  "

 

what excuse can i give now?

And then again thanks to all those who remind me you are never, ever alone.... in the darkest of days we are here for you





Rantings at a 104

Rantings at a 104

Fahrenheit or C? Maybe its Kelvin

Neural Entropy 

Fill your address here

Where was home?

4 B Woodbury…why does that feel wrong

 Ah got it 7 A …which floor again was it 2 or 3

I forgot my address

mmm you are really sick

I waltzed on my futon yesterday night

two dogs a helper kicked about as I tossed

Turned head to east…later south west

A foot north west

Many visitors through the night

None real all jeering

Oh my dogs, what if I don’t wake up

Am I asleep or awake

A flash of news reel

In a city where the dead and alive are rotting together

 Kodokushi in Hong Kong

Can you call?

Not that they ever did, after

The misplaced love, the fuck was done

 I dint cum, the call dint either

Calls did come

One talked me to sleep

Another a flight can catch

Should they even care I wondered

Not blood, not love just work

A colleagues carrot muffin later

Is my love wrong or my work good

Lovers dint work, work  loved me back

 Diagnosed with a fucked up urinary tract

Devil's Demented Demonic Daughter

You should write about her.  

NO WAY.

A few days later, she brought it up again.

I really think you should write her… this shit needs to be written, needs to be read… 

NO … I cant do that. I only write happy stuff. Peace. OMMMMMM . Love.. light….So, give it a rest will you?

A few days later

GOD! Womannnn…you should. You really, really should write about her. Fuck! A lot of women out there will thank you for writing it.

This time she was more persistent. 

My NO held less conviction that day. 

You should write about her.

Seriously Nu, you should. Think about it. All of us, all women everywhere, know of someone just like her.  Either its been our personal bad karma or because she happened to someone close to us.

That bitch struts into that part when Cinderella is dancing with her prince. She would sigh and then wave her  wicked wand and then suddenly there is no shoe, no dress, no nothing. Wait… even worse, the prince now wants to murder Cinderella. Yep that’s the part the bitch plays into transforming your fairytale to a WTF after.

Come on Nu, you can’t deny what she did. You should speak out. I don’t know what your write and don't write in your blog, but this shit needs to be written.

She could see that she was convincing me to think about it, so she carried on. She was shivering with anger as she spoke.  

She wrecked havoc and then strutted away complaining about you, while you ran around like a headless chicken trying to pick up pieces and fix things. And you know what Nu, she is universal. There is a version of her in Sweden, another one doing just the same in Yemen, heck my neighbor has a similar bitch in her life.

Well she did have a point. Many points. That woman did drive me insane. She reminds me of Kathy Bates from Misery.  

Or at least that is the kind of loathing, dread and well misery she evoked in me. Of course Kathy Bates is far prettier than her.

As my face grew more taut, she said…It’s time . It really is time someone wrote about her. Promise me you will write about her. You deserve it, its time someone spoke out about that bitch. You are not doing this for yourself …you are doing this for all of us.

I thought about it as I got onto the ferry. It was true, the topic was universal. Across cultures, demographics, generations the types of her had made countless other women miserable. While some cried, others jumped of buildings… To date there is no law protecting women from these prana sucking devil.


demon...devil...demented...

And I recalled lines that  described her essence perfectly

"...are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them... Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself...soulless and evil. You will be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life."

—Remus Lupin to Harry Potter

Dementor , yes that is what she is! Or maybe she is the dementor's mother....

And so I started writing about her.

A sentence.

A paragraph.

A page…

Pages after pages filled with what she did, the lies she said, the viciousness,the way she played sweet and ruined your life. How she can drive you into cigarettes, booze, tranquilizers, suicide hotlines…

The pages turned into a couple of posts…

Soon I had written enough to make a blog about her. Here is the link to my new blog dedicated to her.  She is the

Devils Demented Demonic Daughter 

http://devilsdementeddemonicdaughter.blogspot.com/

Go on CLICK on the  link above and let the world know about that bitch!

So much for peace , compassion, unity consciousness that my yoga practice has taught me. Today is  fury unleashed, unedited . I have even posted a video and audio that I took of her!

on a train

Sick sweet scent of fake perfumes
Talc and sweat, mingled breath
Bustle, noise and opinions voiced.
Incoherence and the occasional snacks
Chai Chai, Coffee, Samosa, Vada
Alighting departing faces and suitcases
Hawkers, beggars, haggle over coolie baada
Beyond the cattle grazing, crops ripening, unheard children waving
Far away clouds, thatched huts all chug chugging with the train

Unfilled, empty, untaken,  a seat just got taken.
The foreground sprinted away to be the oblivion
An unknown face, unheard voice
Scooters, rickshaws, cattle at a level crossing

Hello… Books we read, songs we sang

Illusions of familiarity were none exists

Come hither lines revealingly concealed, exchanged
Fated getaway or was it just the Indian railways?

Deities of common trivia became alleged religion
What-really-matters alighted at the last station
And the less it mattered the less it matters
Strumming notes for the orgiastic dance
A roach unhurried through the floor
Behind a biriyani scented curtain a button came undone

Atop the hard upper berth, creation got played in mute
Omelet, Cutlet, Biscuit, Femina

TT, Bengali babble, bawling child, snoring uncle

Satiated and spent, two hearts thump thumping with the train

Spiraling languid aftermath, hushed psychedelic white lights

Take a bow, he says, the dance is done

Applause fades, descend from the limelight
Fervor and passion the intensity dampens
Whence it all sprang forth, never to be traced.
Naught sustains of the blaze brazen

And my runaway train tracking a way home

Breakfast madam? sir? 

Thirty Rupees.

Bogie world, fleeting, departing, alighting

Billows and my deep sigh spewed out of the train
A knowing gnawing silence in the soul
The span to the station is all that holds
Then we drift like those never met
All that remains is the tracks

We are just strangers on the train
Hawkers, beggars, cops and beepers

Gawkers and refreshement stalls

A passing train hoot...
A track , A face, A restrained shudder 
A biriani curtained berth,
All in memory’s labyrinth forever stashed
Now flood my senses
Uncalled a solitaire tear trickles to commemorate
Chai Chai, Coffee, Samosa, Vada

Boxers

I met boxers after I turned 24.

Am not talking about the dog breed. Dog...Will do that later on.

I am not referring to men who earn for landing a punch. Boxers...Will do that later on.

I AM referring to that cozy pair of clothing that I am now addicted to.

It was a livid HOT summer’s day in Delhi and my goofy classmate Joobi invited me to join the guys at the pool. Water – refreshing. Swimming - I swim like a rock. Swimwear – ooops.

Joobi offered a pair of shorts.

Yes, a T and shorts are passable as swimwear in India. So are salwars and kurtas and dupattas and 5 meters long saree!

Joobi vouched to watch over me. 

Yes, I try potentially dangerous things, thankfully am still alive

So there I was at the pool deck, wearing a T shirt and a pair of shorts. I stuck to the shallow end, joyfully splashing about. Joobi was given specific instructions that if I lose my footing , I would put up my hand, he will then need to drag me to the safety of the shallow end.

I can never stick to the plan. Less can Joobi.

Yippee cant touch one foot on the pool floor. Yippee cant touch both feet on the floor. YIP…. Oh O..gulp sputter ggurrglle splash

Soon I was gulping my share of chlorine and public pool piss. Frantically I put my hand up. Joobi…gulp  JOOOBBI? Gullllppppp sputter splashhh  NOW WHERE IS JOOBI?  GULPPP Splassshhhh OMG!

Joobi had forgotten his Baywatch duty.

SP grew up on a diet of Baywatch. So when he saw a drowning, distressed damsel he came rushing in from the other end of the pool. What SP did not know was, what to do once you reach the drowning distressed damsel.

Lets call it a case of me being in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong savior.  

SP grabbed my hair, forced my head underwater and dragged on the pool floor. GULLLLLLLLLLLP GULLLLLPPPP GULLLLPPPP (Yeahh! more than my share of chlorine and public pool piss)

In my attempt to live, I kicked punched struggled to end SP’s lethal rescue efforts. I think I bit his hand, and thus got him to lose his grip over my head and I torpedoed myself to safety. I got off the pool, lay on the deck thanking I was alive. SP came over, all I could tell him was….NEXT TIME …Please DON’T…

He dint get it, so I sat up and repeated. PLEASE DO NOT RESCUE EVER AGAIN.

Not the thanks he was expecting. And if you think that was bad... wait till you hear what happened to SP a few weeks later.

Oh and Joobi…was still nowhere to be seen!

I headed home right away and slept off the shock. It was weeks before I met Joobi or SP. The borrowed pair of shorts continued to live a borrowed life with me.

Some days passed before I decided to wear those shorts. Boyyy they ARE SO DAMN comfy.

Why the hell cant they make women’s clothing to be this comfortable? A womans shorts is busy trying to exaggerate the curve of her butt, widen her hip, narrow her waist and oo hide her tummy.

A guys shorts is just being.  Hugging where you like to be hugged, discreetly staying off areas where you are sensitive.  Room to breathe. Second skin. A guy’’s shorts will never painfully rub your butt crack. A guys shorts will never leave angry red marks near the waist band.  Anyways all this only means I wore those shorts over and over again.

Months passed…

"You wore them? You mean you still wear them????...whoa...dont you know those are boxers ", Joobi laughed incredulously.

"aaaa…. what is a boxer …" Yeah I met boxers rather late.  

It was then, that Joobi informed me that I was wearing a man's used underwear. YEEESSSHHHH. JOOOBBBBIIIIII I screamed as he laughed.

But should say they are so damn comfy!

The story doesn't end there, apparently the pair of shorts, I mean underwear belonged to SP. Yep the same Baywatch dude. It was a gift by his girlfriend. Now it so happened that his girl asked him where his boxers were.  It is uncanny how women know when something is missing. SP innocently told her that the boxers were with me.

Had it been a shirt, a tie or a pair of socks she would have been fine but somehow when it comes to your man’s underwear being with another woman, no amount of explaining would suffice. SP thus not only bid farewell to his underwear but also to his girlfriend.

Years have gone by and I somehow never felt like throwing away my first boxer shorts. Five days ago they were given to the last being who would use it.

Rossi Valentino had just been desexed and I needed to ensure that he would not lick his stitches. Instead of making him wear a ridiculous and uncomfortable Victorian Collar, I made him wear the boxers. Naturally he was very comfortable in it. Darn those boxers are so comfy.  He did not lick his privates.

Now that his stitches have healed, my first ever boxers have to leave for good. Darn that boxer has had a colorful life. It has hugged a dick, a jane and ball-less dog!

Farewell my first boxer. You have served well.

….
PS:  He asked me you covered dogs, men's underwear but what about the men who land a punch? I told him gift me a pair of boxers and I will tell you about that.  I Cant write that in this blog – even my mom  reads this. So if you want to know about the other boxers I left out, go on gift me a pair and I will tell you J

On Losing My Virginity and the Frustrating Dry Phase

It was the most eagerly anticipated loss of virginity. Clichéd as it sounds …it was the backseat. The front seat came a month later. I am writing about it after all these years , because I have not been getting any... for a very long time. I absolutely believe that if I write about it, I will be getting some real action soon! It was good, it was perfect. I want more … a lot more.

FLASHBACK

That day everything was new. I was the new girl in a new city. Was with a new set of friends in a new book store in a new mall. A new friend offered to drop me home. Thank you.

I heard it before I saw it. And I knew I was about to lose my virginity.

THUMP. THUMP. THUMP

The tingling started instantly. I could feel the blood rushing into my face. I could smell the leather, could see the glint of metal. No foreplay will be required.

I mounted the back seat… Royal Enfield Bullet Electra Black.I closed my eyes, felt the vibrations and smiled in rapture as the bike thundered.  Riding- on- the Royal Enfiled – virginity… LOST.

And  a month later I got to be the one riding the beast for the first time!

Not the story you had in mind? -  SCREW YOU.

Of all the various virginities lost, this was worth the wait. Unlike many other first time experiences, this was better than what they say it is. HEADY potent stuff. Darnn it is so good that they may make it illegal!

It’s THE oldest Motorcycle in the world.

Its not a bike. It’s a beast, a baby, a bitch and your guardian angel all rolled into one.

If God rode a bike it would be a Royal Enfield. Don’t believe me? There is a shrine in Rajasthan where the idol is a Royal Enfield 350. I was hoping to pay homage earlier this year, hopefully the next year now.

Come to think of it, I actually follow my Code of the Bullet more religiously than the ten commandments. Don’t believe me? If I ever steal it will be a Bullet. If I ever covet someone else’s possession, which I do and it is a Bullet. (Shan if you are reading this you know that I have my eyes on your beast)

Come to think of it, I never really shared my Code of the Bullet with anyone. So here goes…this part deals with interpersonal interactions based on the presence or absence of a Bullet.

STRANGERS

You have a Bullet – I am your friend. I will seek you out, find you and befriend you. I did that just few months ago. I went to an Ashram to let go off my worldly thoughts and there SHE was - a BLACK THUNDERBIRD. I sought out the guy who owns it. We are bonded for life (as long as he has the bike)

FRIENDS

You buy a bike and its not a Bullet…. Remember there are boys and then there is the Bullet. I will have to inject you with growth hormones. I am proud to say I did turn few mamma’s boys into men. Thank You. Thank You.

You had a Bullet and then moved on to some chick shit… I will remove you from my facebook news feed. I am serious. I did that to a bimbo (who was once a man) who now sits on some yellow tweety. The yellow tweety happened after he got smashed in the crotch by a yellow submarine - condolences but WTF? 

You are separated from your Bullet… I will pray for your soul. Sandy, Sivaji may you be reunited with your Bullet soon. I am holding a candle light vigil for you.

RATS

If rat buys a Bullet… he becomes a non plague causing rat. Last year I finally found it in my heart to start talking to a rat, because he redeemed himself by getting a Bullet.

Well I could go on and on… But the truth is I am not getting any :(  Its been a long frustrating dry phase ever since I came to Hong Kong. I am in a city where there are no Bullets. (Sorry Islanders all I see here is Hello Kitty and Mickey Mouse!!) Since I couldn’t get lucky here I tried to get lucky when I went to India. There too multiple plans of Bullet trips were laid to waste. (SHAAAA I hate you!!!) It made me think a while about what is my future with the Bullet.

I meditated over it…

and finally it dawned

Be the Man! Get the Beast

So this year I hope to be able to get a license and get the beast to Hong Kong. I want to ride my Bullet for Christmas. Each time I write something I get it. So please read this..pass it on and year end I will be posting pics! Come on I am in the prime of my life and I am not getting any….

Hey Prasad, any chance you can give me that Bullet sitting idle at your place?  Hong Kong and I can be  the  muse for your  Art of Motorcylcing :)

Next stop - Hong Kong?  :)

 

Is anyone from Royal Enfield reading this? Heyy think about it - since Bullet Baba passed away, you really dont have a Yogi riding one ...  COME ON!!!


Photos: From the Royal Enfiled Website http://www.royalenfield.com/default.aspx

Which Nostril Are You?

Gently press down on your left nostril and breathe from the right. Now, press down on your right nostril and breathe in and out of left. Do you feel the difference in the way air flows through each of the nostril? Which nostril feels more open? …

An hour and half later, check again.

85% of all people breath from one nostril at a given time. Some have the non-functioning nostril completely blocked. Most feel a slight congestion in one nostril. Some feel both nostrils are open, but one is more open than the other.

The interesting thing is, the predominant nostril is not constant. Every 60 or 100 minutes the predominant nostril alternates. If the left was dominant earlier, now the right will be dominant. Also you may observe that during the alternating phase, the breath flows through both nostrils.

The ancient Yogis’ were aware of this. They studied the effect of breath through each nostril. They found that the nostril you breathe from effects you physically, mentally and even spiritually. They realized that through the awareness of flow of breath it is possible to attain enlightenment. This knowledge and path, is called Swara Yoga.

The word Swara means "the sound of one's own breath" and yoga means "union". Swara yoga teaches how a state of union can be achieved by means dwelling upon and deciphering one's breath.

According to the Vedic System, energy flows through 3 main channels. The criss-crossing Ida, Pingala and the central channel Sushuhmna. Correspondingly there are three types of Swara – through the left nostril, through the right and through both the nostrils.

Ida is the cold lunar flow, the corresponding nostril is left.  The left swara presides over mental actions. When the left nostril is active , mental activities such as thinking, planning, calculating, etc are at peak performance. Creativity, imagination, intuition, insight are associated with the left Swara. Medical research indicates that the breath through left nostril has an effect on the Parasympathetic Nervous System. The PNS is responsible for stimulation of “rest, relaxation” or cooling as suggested by Ida.

Pingala is the hot solar flow, the corresponding nostril is the right one. The right swara presides over physical actions. When the right nostril is active, we optimize on physical activities such as digestion, exercise, etc. The right Swara is related with the Sympathetic Nervous System – the fight fright flight part of the human body.

Sushumna is the central channel for the flow of vital energy. The flow through the Sushumna occurs only with purification of the mind and body. During the alternation of predominant nostril the breath flows through both left and right equally. This indicates that the Sushumna is active. When the Sushumna is active the body and mind are relaxed and functioning at optimal levels. Spiritual actions such as meditation require both nostrils to be active.

Now that you understand the bare basics of Swara Yoga, here are some tips to improve your day.

Activate your right nostril

• Before your yoga class. This will decrease discomfort experienced while doing asana.
• Before having food. Helps to digest food.

           

Activate your left nostril

• Prior to important meetings. It would sharpen your acumen.
• For deepening your meditation

Treating with Swara Yoga

• When feverish, observe the nostril that is predominant. Lie down on the side of the active nostril, this would help to open the other nostril and thus balance the system.
• Common cold is associated with an active left nostril, so work on activating your right nostril.
• Chronic diseases such as Asthma effects the Swara. It has been observed that in such cases one nostril is active for a much longer duration the other, in such conditions balancing the Swara is known to bring about cure.

How to activate a nostril?

To activate a nostril – let’s say the right

a) close the left nostril gently using index finger and breath from right for 20 to 40 breaths

b) use a cotton ball to plug left nostril or left ear to open the right nostril

c) lie on your left side for 5 to 8 minutes to activate the right

d) apply pressure on your left armpit for few minutes to activate the right

The wisdom of the ancient sages and the marvel of the human body… Keep exploring