Monday, December 31, 2012

Defy and Defend With Dignity

Based on "Know your limitation, work on it", Deccan Chronicle, Kochi Sunday 30th December 2012

Rape is a global phenomena.  It has been there in the past and sadly it will happen again. What we need to remember is that it could happen to any woman, girl, child or infant. What we need is to show no tolerance towards any act of disrespect in deed or ideology. The Delhi Gang Rape is a tipping point for many of us to get out there and make the change.

What is the change that we need?The physiology of rape is testosterone, the psychology of it is power and subjugation. Countries that have had some success in resolving controlling the issue or are women friendly follow a route of education, empowerment and strict enforcement of law. Interestingly countries that cover up women and keep them indoors are the unsafest places on earth for women.

Empowerment of youth is what I feel is needed in Kerala. I have seen smart and “trained to defend” young girls in Kerala go into an absolute state of shock the moment a man misbehaves.  The other extreme is an emotionally charged response.  Neither helps. Both fuel further such incidents.

What is needed is conscious and apt response to the situation. Foremost I suggest  learn to run, to sprint. When in dire circumstances your legs will turn to jelly. Train them well. Energy needs to flow through them, do not let it stagnate owing to fear. Vinyasa style yoga helps achieve the stamina and control. As a woman I am soft and  I accept I am not as strong as any man. Once you know your limitation, work on it, defy it and then you are ready to stand your ground. 

Standing your ground is an attitude that you will not take criminal nonsense. It also means maturity to take complete responsibility of the consequences of your actions. Meditating  on the qualities of a Goddess archetypes has  helped many to gain this inner strength.

From that state of self respect, calmness  and clarity you can proceed to scan your  surroundings to create a weapon from what is available a rock, a pen, or a stick. If you like to be prepared think of investing in a pepper spray or have a tiny aerosol with strong red chilly powder-vinegar solution. Fourth is to use your weapon unflinchingly to have maximum impact. The efficacy of the weapon is purely in the hands of the user. However no woman likes to inflict pain. But to deal with men who are inhuman it is needed to move away from our inherent sweetness and find that resilience to grab the offending crotch and pulp it.

I have great faith in the youth of my nation and state. I believe ten girls who can react calmly and effectively will make a difference in a city. I hope to train girls to develop this attitude of respect using yoga, meditation and simple martial arts techniques for free. However this approach is partial unless the boys are part of this change. What is needed alongside is to sensitize men that the “fairer weaker sex” is a human who deserves a life of smiles, love and light. 

PS: .In the article that got published in the newspaper my line on grabbing the crotch and pulping it got edited out. Possibly that is whole point I am trying to make when it comes to defying, defending and doing so with dignity. There is no space for being politically correct and socially tactful – the operative word is “unflinchingly”. We need to be able unflinchingly visualise and execute what is needed effectively, efficiently in the calmest possible way. Crotch and eyeballs, I find are the easiest- to- access  weakspots and the element of surprise acts as a good advantage. 


  1. Very nice post. The message that has been shared in the article is just awesome and all should keep it in mind. We all girls and ladies has to be that much bold to handle such situations. Thank u for the share.

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