Pee Break

Do men ever learn to control urges that originate below their waist? I guess not ever, never.

For instance, the other day, my friend and I were sharing an auto. Suddenly he pounced on the auto driver with “arrey bahiya auto roko… stop the auto now” He then turned to me with a sheepish grin and said “bus ek minute... will be right back” and left in a hurry. In no time the auto walla and I left the auto, boarded our separate trains of thought. The autowalla on his local train and I boarded the express.

What makes it socially ok for a man to pee anywhere and everywhere in my democratic country? Not a single roadside wall stands un-graffiti-ed by a man!

Ever noted the peculiar things about public pee? To begin with public pee is viral. If you see one man pee-ing, soon there is another one joining in. They nod at each other as they spray together. They may even check cricket scores with each other, while they are at it. If a man has pee-ed on a wall once, he has to pee there the next time he passes by. A wall once pee-ed on will continue to attract pee-ers forever. 

A sign that says it all "The One Who Pees Here is a M**er  F**er"

Then there is the gender bias. If I have to go… I actually want to go now, but I have to wait. Wait till there is more than a wall. Four to be precise. A roof on top. You know the rest of the list including the handwash for afterwards.

Shit. It suddenly struck me, this guy is gonna be back from his pee break and NO HANDWASH. YEeeeeeeeeeSSHHH

I held the most articulated expression of disgust as my friend boarded the auto. He added to my nausea by he extended his hands out to me. I gasped in horror and receded into the auto.

There was confusion written on his face, he was expecting a smile not a contortion. And then it hit me.

He had stepped out to get me flowers.

Do women ever learn to stop jumping into conclusions? I guess not ever, never.

Photo credits : Debopriyo Bhattacherjee


PS: My friend insists - he doesnt pee in public. Of course he doesnt ;)